Some of my favorite therapy and self-help books

I’m part of a book club for therapists, as I find it more motivating to have a deadline and external accountability when reading work-related books. However, many of the books have been genuinely engaging and interesting to read, and it’s fun to discuss them in a group.

Some of my favorites from the past few years of book club are: 

Bessel Van der Kolk’s “The Body Keeps the Score.” The Body Keeps The Score | Bessel van der Kolk, MD. 
It’s about how trauma gets stored in the body and how talking about trauma is not enough to heal it. Van der Kolk encourages the use of body-based therapies, including EMDR and Somatic Experiencing, in psychotherapy. This is what prompted me to take trainings in EMDR last year, and I’m eager to learn other similar therapies. 

“No Bad Parts” by Richard Schwartz. No Bad Parts | IFS Institute  It’s an easy to understand overview of Internal Family Systems, which uses the idea of “parts work” in therapy. The idea is that we have different parts of our personality that are trying to help us in different ways, and sometimes our parts are in conflict with each other, which can cause us anxiety. In Internal Family Systems, we can learn to talk with our various parts to help them work together and become more integrated. One way I use parts work in therapy sessions is by encouraging you to be kind and gentle to the wounded child part of you. Doing so can help you let go of shame and feel more self-love. 

“Necessary Losses” by Judith Viorst. Necessary Losses | Book by Judith Viorst | Official Publisher Page | Simon & Schuster 
This was a pick from another book club member, but it had also been recommended to me a few years ago by my own therapist. It is about how we need to let go of our ideas and fantasies of what our life was supposed to look like in order to be fully engaged and present in our actual lives. I definitely needed to learn this as I entered middle-age. Perhaps some of you will find it helpful too. 

“The Conscious Parent” by Schefali Tsabary. The Conscious Parent — Namaste Publishing 
This is about how parents learn from their children, and about how the most effective parents are those who have worked on their own issues and done their own inner-child work. It is as much about re-parenting yourself as it is about parenting. 

“Living the Life Unexpected” by Jody Day. Living the Life Unexpected by Jody Day - Pan Macmillan 
This book talks about the author’s journey of being childless not by choice, how she grieved being childless, and how she has found meaning in other ways. It is the go-to book for the Childness Not by Choice (CNBC) community. ​